


Take Me Home Tonight

by capitalR



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2020-08-20 02:06:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20220001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/capitalR/pseuds/capitalR
Summary: Ellie McManus and Billy Hargrove met in detention, and it was all downhill from there. Just a couple of angsty, messed up kids that really don't know how to handle each other, though they try.





	1. Happy Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. Like for real. This is just what fell out of my brain. We'll see where it goes.

Ellie met Billy in detention. She knew about him of course. Everyone did. He wasn’t exactly shy about being the new kid. He was the shiny new toy everyone wanted to play with and he knew it then, and somehow managed to keep everyone interested. But he was such a dick, it wasn’t hard to see that. She didn’t really understand why everyone was so in love with him, but she didn’t care enough to dwell too long on it.

Detention. It wasn’t a situation she was used to being in, but there she was, tucked away at a desk in the back corner of a quiet classroom. She would worry about everything else later. Billy Hargrove waltzed in late, making a snarky comment to the teacher in charge when she snipped without venom at him about his tardiness. Ellie wasn’t surprised to see him there, he was probably a regular patron at that point. She watched him strut into the room, and met his eyes for a moment. His steps faltered as he registered her presence. He seemed slightly surprised, but turned it into a devilish grin.

Ellie probably made a face at him she wasn’t aware of making, and his grin started to spread wider, but she looked away to start digging through her book bag. She figured she would get some homework done while she was just sitting there. Maybe the hour would go faster if she had something to do. In a classroom full of empty desks to choose from, Billy sat right next to her. She felt the tickle of annoyance on the back of her neck the second he sat down, but made no move to play whatever game he was trying to start. She was busy.

Ellie was very aware of him while she did her homework. He didn’t make any move to talk to her. They weren’t allowed to talk. He didn’t try to pass notes, or get her attention in any way. He just sat there fidgeting and waiting for the time to pass, but Ellie could feel it. He had a very big presence, and it was pressing into her personal bubble and she was just all around annoyed with him existing near her.

She packed up her bag hastily when they were finally released, and made her way out of the classroom as casually as possible, trying to push down the annoyance. But Billy had sauntered up next to her in the hallway before she could really escape.

“What does a girl like Ellie McManus do to get detention?” he asked, a teasing lilt to his voice. Ellie kept her face carefully neutral, still not playing his game, but she did glance up at him. He huffed a breath of laughter. “No stink eye this time, that’s good. So what did you do to get in there, I thought you were a good kid,” he prodded.

“I’ve been late to homeroom a few times,” she answered. A few times meant consistently late for the past two weeks, but that wasn’t important.

“You don’t seem the type to be late to anything,” Billy said. She scoffed.

“Well we also don’t know each other,” she retorted.

“I know you live down the street from me. Do you have a ride home?”

“I can walk,” she said. Billy rose a brow at her.

“That’s a long walk.”

Ellie shrugged. “I’ve done it before.”

Billy grinned that devilish grin. “Come on. Let me take you home. You won’t regret it,” he said. She almost laughed at that. She absolutely knew she would regret it, but she would face the same repercussions regardless.

“Fine, whatever, take me home. Just don’t get us killed, I’ve seen how you drive,” she said. He smiled a victorious smile and threw an arm over her shoulder as he led her out of the building, smug as all hell, and she just knew he was doing it on purpose. He was trying to crawl under her skin and get on her nerves and it was working and they hadn’t even talked more than two minutes. So she glared at the floor as he led her outside and tried really hard to keep her mouth shut and not give him the satisfaction.

She got herself situated in the passenger seat of his Camaro, and he wasn’t far behind. As soon as she got comfortable, Billy started the engine and the car roared to life, music suddenly blaring into Ellie’s ears. She flinched and yelped at the unexpected sound, and her look of surprise turned into a glare when she realized Billy was laughing at her. He turned the music down, completely amused.

“Well, this is gonna be fun,” he teased, and she just glared harder and rolled her eyes. He poked fun at her being so quiet on the ride home, and she could only shrug and say “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

And of course he drove like an asshole, because he was an asshole, and Ellie really should have just walked home because this douche of a boy wasn’t worth it, but pretending was better. Pretending wasn’t suspicious. Pretending didn’t cause problems.

He did stop annoying her halfway home, finally, in favor of hearing some song he liked on the radio. He turned it up and beat his steering wheel along with the music. It gave her some time to gather her thoughts. The car pulled to a halt in front of her house soon enough, and Ellie caught the blinds on the front window moving, and her stomach flipped a little. But she could pretend. She kept her posture easy, her face calm. She looked at Billy, who was grinning that sly, stupid grin at her.

“Thanks for the ride,” she said as she gathered her book bag and opened the door to get out. He pulled his sunglasses down and his grin turned into that charming smile he used on all the girls.

“I could give you a better one some time,” he all but purred. She was stunned into stillness for a second, definitely not missing the innuendo, but recovered quickly and she glared hard at him again.

“You’re gross,” she whispered on her way out of the car, and Billy laughed. She was irritated for letting him get under her skin so easily as she marched through the grass up toward the door.

“See you at school,” he called after her, amusement still in his voice. She waved her hand dismissively in his direction, but her thoughts were elsewhere as she watched the blinds in the window move back into place. The Camaro whipped around and rumbled just a few houses up from hers. She opened the door and stepped inside, dreading every heavy footfall in her direction.

They didn’t talk again for something like a week, didn’t acknowledge one another’s existence. At least it didn’t hurt to breathe anymore. That part came in handy when she was stopping by her locker on her way to lunch, thinking she was by herself in the hallway, and the door was slammed shut. She let out an embarrassingly loud yelp and threw a hand over her mouth, staring in bewilderment at Billy who was, of course, laughing at her expense. And, as was apparently a new custom of hers, her eyes narrowed into a glare at the boy.

“Come on,” he said through his laughter. “You make it too easy.” She rolled her eyes and brushed past him, but he used her movement to once again throw an arm around her shoulders as they walked down the hallway.

“What do you want?” Ellie asked, and it came out more harsh than she wanted it to. It wasn’t his fault after all. She didn’t need to take it out on him.

“You sure are delightful today,” he teased, wearing one of those stupid grins when she tossed a glance at him.

“Sorry,” she muttered, wrapping her arms a little tighter around herself. “I’m just tired, I guess.” He hummed in acknowledgment.

“So I haven’t seen you at parties or anything,” Billy said, skipping any sort of graceful transition.

“Maybe because I’m one of the good kids or something,” Ellie responded, satisfied with the small joke. Billy huffed a breath of laughter.

“Nah, that can’t be it. Plenty of good kids go to parties,” he said. She shrugged under his arm.

“It’s not really my thing. I don’t do so well in crowds,” she said.

“It would be good for you, you know. Drink a little, dance a little. Maybe get lucky,” he said. She gave him a look.

“Again, Billy, we don’t know each other. How would you know what’s good for me?” Ellie asked.

“Tell me something. When is the last time you let your hair down and had some fun?” he asked as he led her through the doors of the cafeteria. She could only give him a baffled look. He smiled and rose a brow, slipping his arm away from her shoulders. In that movement, he snatched the scrunchie that had been loosely holding half of her hair up. “Thought so,” he said, and waved the scrunchie in front of her. “I’ll give this back to you at Tina’s Halloween party.” He disappeared into the small sea of people with a wink and dripping charm, and Ellie was left dumbfounded.

It had started off as a good day, in comparison to others. She made it to school on time, and enjoyed the Halloween spirit that seemed to be floating around all day. Even got home at a reasonable time. And that’s where things went sour.

Ellie had been caught up in her homework, and lost track of time. Dinner was supposed to be ready by the time he got home. She realized it with little time to spare, and she tried, she really did. But it wasn’t enough, she wasn’t fast enough. She was frozen when her father walked through the door. He surveyed the scene quietly before his cold eyes landed on her.

“We’ve talked about this,” he said, voice low. “What did I ask you to do?”

“Have dinner ready by six,” she said, trying to ignore the lump in her throat.

“Correct. And this doesn’t look ready to me.”

She was pinned before she could really register it, strong fingers gripping her jaw as she was shoved into the door of the fridge, magnets falling off with the force. She didn’t really hear anything he was saying anymore. Something about respect, and how much she lacked it, and how she couldn’t do one simple thing, but her brain just shut down. All she could do was shut down and wait it out.

A cold shower distracted from the pain in her ribs, and she stayed silently in her room for a while. She was angry. She put on some makeup. She didn’t have any kind of costume, but she picked out a decent outfit. She opened the door and crept down the hall as quietly as she could to peek around the corner into the living room. The television was on, the lights were off, and her dad was already asleep in his recliner. His beer tipped over in his hand as she watched, spilling onto the floor, and he didn’t even stir. That was a good enough sign for her. She went back to her room and hopped out her window. The front door was too loud.

She took a deep breath, ignoring the pain in her ribs. “Ellie, you’re fucking stupid,” she muttered to herself. She didn’t really even have a plan, couldn’t get away with taking her dads car, almost went back inside and forgot the whole thing, but she stopped herself. A glance just up the street gave her a plan enough. So she steeled herself and marched up the street.

Billy walked out of his house just as she reached the driveway, and he noticed her immediately. They stared at each other for a moment, and Billy then bounced down the steps with a glint in his eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest.

“This was your idea, so you’re taking me,” she said by way of greeting. He looked like an asshole wearing a jacket over a shirtless chest. Because he was an asshole. He simply told her to get in the car. She didn’t say anything the entire way to Tina’s house, and Billy just let her be quiet. But she didn’t immediately get out once they pulled up. She looked out the window, at the big house bustling with activity, and didn’t move.

“I’m not taking you all the way back,” he said to the back of her head. “We’re here now. Get out of the car.” She heard his door shut, and he walked over to the passenger side, and stared at her through the window. He gestured with a finger and raised brows, and she hated him. But she got out of the car anyway, ignoring the amused laugh he let out. She followed him up to the house and immediately shrunk in on herself once they entered. This was a terrible idea.

He placed a hand on the small of her back and pushed her toward the kitchen where it seemed all the drinks were. He cracked a beer and offered it to her, but she made a face. He rolled his eyes and took a long gulp of it himself before grabbing and empty cup and dunking it into the bowl of whatever the fuck it was on the counter and thrusting it into her hands.

“What is it?” Ellie asked, furrowing her brows at the red liquid.

“Why would I know that?” Billy retorted. “Just drink it, it’ll get the job done,” he said. So she did. It was good. Spiked punch or something. Billy toted her around for a while, and she was uncomfortable with all the looks she was getting from the cool kids he associated with as she went, but she tried to fake it, smiled politely and tried to ignore the scrutiny and undoubtedly teasing questions tossed her way.

Ellie did lose him eventually. He had to make a spectacle of himself somewhere, she had to use the bathroom, and when she was done, she was alone in a house full of drunk people she really didn’t want to be around. She found a place to sit out of the way and cradled her third cup of the punch nervously when she was approached by another girl.

“I never see you at parties,” the girl said. Ellie shrunk a little. She didn’t like the tone of voice, the look on her face.

“I don’t really go to them,” Ellie answered. The girl tilted her head.

“What made you come to this one? Someone invite you?” the girl prodded.

“Um. Billy did, he brought me,” Ellie said, hating how dumb she sounded. She was under pressure and out of her element and buzzed and fucked up and tried to ignore the stinging in her eyes. The girl laughed.

“Billy? Like Billy Hargrove? What the hell would he want with a girl like you?” the girl questioned through her laughter. “That’s rich. Does he even know your name?”

Ellie couldn’t stay there and deal with that, couldn’t deal with the scrutinizing looks of everyone there thinking the same thing, that she was a waste of space, a nobody. She was overwhelmed and embarrassed and just needed to go. So she stood up and didn’t even bother saying anything else to the laughing drunk girl.

Mechanically, she made her way to the kitchen, and chugged the rest of her drink. She needed to get rid of the lump in her throat. So with shaking hands, she poured herself a hefty shot of the first liquor bottle she grabbed, a bottle of whiskey. She threw it back and let it burn, didn’t even wait for it to subside before she took the next one. She ignored the cheering of the drunk boy near her and slammed the bottle back down on the counter, ridding herself of her cup, and shuffling toward the front door.

She had managed to walk a couple blocks away before the tears really started to fall. She was upset and cold and embarrassed and angry and her ribs hurt and she wasn’t thinking clearly enough to know her surroundings very well so she was lost for all she knew. She was a stupid, useless waste of space who couldn’t do the simplest things. She should have just stayed in her room.

She didn’t really register the rumbling of a car until it was creeping along beside her. She wiped her face hastily and bit down hard on her bottom lip and kept walking. She didn’t know what else to do there anyway.

“Hey,” Billy called out to her. “Get in the car.” She shook her head, not trusting her voice. “Get in the car!” he snapped. She shook her head again. “God dammit Ellie, get in the car!” he yelled that time, and Ellie stopped walking, a sudden fury boiling under her skin.

“No!” she yelled, just as ugly.

“Why not?” Billy yelled back, and Ellie had a brief thought that their yelling match might wake some people up.

“You’re drunk, asshole,” she spat, unable to stop herself from screaming.

“Well so are you, asshole!” Billy seemed just as happy to keep on shouting as well, and he forcefully put the car into park, slamming the door on his way out.

“What are you gonna do, Billy, force me inside?” she snarled as he stomped toward her.

“If that’s what it takes, then yeah,” he growled, grabbing her arm and trying to yank her toward the car. She smacked his arm and shoved him away as hard as she could, and they stared at each other in tense silence for a short moment. She stepped up and shoved him again. He bared his teeth in an an almost scary smile, blue eyes shining with an angry intensity. “Oh, you wanna fight, is that it?” he said in a low voice, getting into her face. “Come on then, Princess, fucking hit me,” he taunted, tapping his own cheek roughly a few times in quick succession. “Right here. Hit me, I dare you.”

She glared at him hard. And then he stood up straight, huffed, and gave her a solid tap on the cheek. Not to hurt her, it didn’t hurt, it was just enough to egg her on. Then he pushed her. Not hard enough to knock her down, but it was a good shove.

“I know you want to, McManus, come the fuck on!” he shouted again, and something in Ellie snapped. So she slapped him. Her hand stung with the force of the contact. His cheek turned red. Things were quiet.

“You good? Got it out of your system?” he asked after a long bout of silence, voice still sharp and angry, but he wasn’t yelling. She didn’t answer. Just stared. Because she didn’t understand what just happened. He took a step closer to her when she didn’t answer and pressed a hand to her back, pushing her toward the car, no violence in the movement. And she got in. And more tears came.

They didn’t speak. The rumble of the car and the music of Billy’s cassette tape filled the silence between them, and Ellie stared out the window, wishing she could just stop fucking crying.

He pulled up to a 24 hour diner in town and shut off the car. She looked over at him to see he was already watching her, and sniffled miserably.

“You’ve got black shit all over your face,” he said. She turned his rear view mirror toward her and used her sleeves to wipe what she could of the mascara off of her face. Her nose and cheeks were still red as hell, but whatever. They got out of the car and went inside the diner. She just followed his lead, completely uncertain about what was going on, but she didn’t have any better options. So she followed. They sat at a booth in the corner. He ordered a burger and fries. Ellie ordered a milkshake. And things were quiet. Billy lit a cigarette, took a long drag, watching Ellie the whole time. He offered it to her. She accepted.

“So you ran off in a hurry,” he said, taking the cigarette back when she was finished.

“I told you, parties aren’t really my thing,” she said, voice thankfully coming out calm.

“Someone say something to you?” he asked. Ellie huffed a humorless peal of laughter.

“What’s it matter to you?” she asked. Billy shrugged and took another drag off his cigarette. “It doesn’t matter. Everything is fine,” she said. Billy leaned across the table, eyes boring into her.

“Everything’s fine,” he repeated, voice a low rumble, not believing her for a moment. “You’re right, Ellie, everything’s fine, you’ve got everything under control, don’t you? You handled yourself so well back there.”

“You are such an asshole,” she said, and cursed herself for being so weak willed as more tears pricked at her eyes.

“Seems to be the only way to get anything out of you,” he said. She scoffed.

“Why do you want to know so badly, huh?” she snipped, leaning over the table to meet his level. “I don’t get it. Did you run out of toys or something? I’m not gonna sit here and play whatever bullshit game you’re playing, Billy.”

The waitress set their food down a moment after Ellie finished speaking, and the pair of teenagers leaned back in their seats. Billy gave the waitress a smooth grin and a thanks before turning to look between Ellie and her milkshake. He took his tray of fries off of his plate and slid it across the table.

“I don’t want those,” Ellie said, and Billy rose a brow at her.

“I don’t care. Eat,” he said, shoving his burger into his mouth. She glared and picked up a fry. “You know how to eat, don’t you?” he asked through a mouthful of food when she didn’t eat it right away. So she ate. She didn’t know why she kept doing what he told her to, but she was just tired at that point. Tired of fighting, tired of feeling, tired of everything. So they ate, and Billy stole the cherry off of her milkshake, which was fine, she didn’t like them anyway. And things were, once again, quiet.

They didn’t speak again until they were finished eating. “So, what are you so pissed about?” Billy asked, watching as she stirred the remnants of her milkshake around with her straw. She looked up at him, chin propped in her hand, elbow resting on the table.

“Well. I had a bad day,” she answered on a sigh. She didn’t know what it was. It could have been how she said it. It could have been the absurdity of the past few hours. It could have been because they were both still feeling the buzz of alcohol. But Billy started laughing. He wasn’t laughing at her. He was simply laughing. And then Ellie started laughing. And she knew in the back of her mind they were both just a couple of fucked up kids.

The drive back home didn’t hold nearly as much tension as it had before, there was a weird calm surrounding them. Ellie was very much aware of the pain in her ribs, exacerbated by all the yelling, but it was manageable. Billy eventually pulled up into his own driveway, and Ellie was fine with that. Couldn’t wake her dad up that way. Ellie turned to Billy.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did,” she said. He shrugged it off.

“It happens,” he said.

“It shouldn’t,” she said, and Billy noticed the way it came out. Sad, quiet.

“We’ll do it again,” he warned. And that said enough. He wasn’t done with her. He was going to keep coming into her life. And she would let him. It was unspoken, but they both knew.

They would yell and fight and push and slap. They would hate each other. It was fucked up. It shouldn’t be that way. It wasn’t healthy, or normal, or good in any sense. But something was broken in both of them.

Ellie realized, as she crawled back through her bedroom window, Billy still had her scrunchie.


	2. Relax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how I feel about this chapter, but it is what it is. Enjoy if you can, and let me know what you think!

They still rarely talked at school. In passing he’d wink at her on occasion, or pinch her chin with a cheeky grin if he could get away with it, if his arm wasn’t over some other girls shoulders. At one point, in the days following the party, the girl under his arm was the girl that had confronted Ellie at the Halloween party. Ellie had seen the girl pointing at her in the hall and whispering into Billy’s ear, probably telling him about the conversation, but Ellie quickly averted her eyes when she noticed, still embarrassed. That day after school, as Ellie made her way through the parking lot, she saw Billy casually leaning against his car while the girl was yelling at him. But he wasn’t even looking at the girl. He was watching Ellie. That girl wasn’t under Billy’s arm again after that.

She was caught off guard during lunch one day a few weeks down the line, almost getting hit in the face with a bag of chips. Somehow, she caught it, and looked up to find the culprit with bewildered eyes. Billy. He pointed at the bag in her hands, but didn’t stop walking. “Eat,” he had called as he passed. Ellie just stared dumbly after him. And her friend, Winona, stared dumbly at her.

“What was that about?” Winona had asked. Ellie shrugged and opened the bag of chips. It became an almost regular occurrence after that. A couple times a week, the boy would pass by, throw whatever snack he had on hand at her, tell her to eat, and she did. Winona stopped asking questions after a while. Ellie got better at catching.

Thanksgiving came. Ellie had gotten up early as hell to work on preparing dinner, even though she hadn’t slept well the night before. It was her duty. Her aunt and uncle were coming to spend the holiday with them, and were bringing their young son with them. She would plaster on a smile, play pretend. She’d done it before. And her dad would do the same. They could be a happy family for a day. But until then, she worked hard, was extra careful not to mess anything up. She was good.

The relatives showed up in the afternoon, and everyone was all smiles and laughter. Ellie’s aunt helped her finish up preparing the meal, which was nice. And they ate and talked and no one suspected a thing. They rested and had dessert and no one suspected a thing. Of course, that was the goal, but behind all the fake laughter and fake smiles and fake happiness, Ellie was livid. Her father sitting there playing the part of the happy family man, it burned beneath Ellie’s skin because it was all a lie, it was all _bullshit_, and no one suspected _a fucking thing_. She was powerless against it.

Ellie was angry and very tired when her aunt and uncle left that night, and she messed up. She was cleaning up the kitchen and storing leftovers, and her father told her to pack him a lunch for work the next day. She sighed. He heard.

“Oh I’m sorry, is that going to be a problem for you?” he asked, stalking back into the kitchen. She looked up at him. And she was just so tired.

“No sir,” she said, bracing for whatever was next.

“Get out of my house,” the man said. Ellie blinked at him. She hadn't expected that to be the result. She hadn't been kicked out of the house in a long while. “You won’t sleep under this roof, the roof I put you under, until you’ve learned some respect. Get out,” he growled. So she shuffled around him and stepped outside. It was uncomfortably chilly. She didn’t have a jacket or anything. She sat down on the edge of the small porch, trying to come up with some way out of this.

Eventually she stood up and started walking, hoping the movement would warm her up a little. She slowed on her way past Billy’s house. There was only one car in the driveway. Billy’s car. Before she could let herself think about it, she was making her way up the stairs of the porch. She hesitated for just a moment before tapping on the door. The door opened after a few moments. She made an attempt to grin at Billy, giving a small wave.

“Hi,” she said. “Can I come in?” Billy stepped aside for her.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he drawled, shutting the door and turning to her.

“Oh, you know. I was in the neighborhood, thought I’d stop by,” she said, keeping her voice light. But her posture was visibly uncomfortable and Billy must have noticed. His grin slipped a little. Ellie sighed and scrubbed a hand through her hair upon seeing his expression change. “I don’t really feel like playing twenty questions if that’s okay,” she said.

Billy rose a brow but didn’t ask questions. Well, at least not the big questions. “You want something to drink?” he asked as he made his way through the house. She followed.

“Water is fine,” she said. So he poured her a glass of water and gestured for her to keep following.

“Hope you’re okay with Indiana Jones,” he said, dropping his body onto the couch to continue watching the movie. Ellie shuffled over and tucked herself into the opposite corner of the couch, pulling her legs up underneath her.

They sat like that for a little while, watching the movie quietly, but Billy broke the silence. “Can you relax? Stretch your legs out or something, I can feel you being nervous and it’s weirding me out,” he snipped half heartedly. Ellie looked at him, caught off guard.

“Sorry,” she muttered, and unfolded her legs without moving from her little corner. She didn’t feel any better. A few moments passed before Billy let out a dramatic sigh. He leaned over and grabbed her ankles, pulling them back up with him and turning her body with the movement effortlessly. Ellie let out a startled gasp and almost spilled her carefully cradled glass of water as he plopped her legs down in his lap. She gave him a bewildered look. He rose his brows at her and squeezed her ankle.

“Relax,” he reiterated. “I won’t bite unless you want me to.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, but her nerves did subside a little bit. It didn’t take long for the fingers he left resting on her ankle to start moving, rubbing little patterns into her skin absently, just to satisfy the need to fidget. And she was still god awfully tired.

She managed to keep her eyes open for a little while, but she nodded off eventually. Only to be immediately jolted awake to liquid spilling over her chest and stomach. She had dozed off still holding the glass of water, naturally spilling it all over herself. She shot up with a curse, fear and panic overtaking her by reflex.

“I’m sorry,” she squeaked, standing up mechanically to go find a towel for what spilled on the couch. She was tugged to a stop by a firm hand on her wrist not two steps in. She looked at Billy’s hand around her wrist, and sort of just froze there.

“It’s just water,” he said slowly. But Ellie’s breathing was shit and she wasn’t in a clear state of mind to be rational. “Hey,” he said, loud enough to bring her attention to his face. He looked confused, and a little wary of the situation. “It’s just water. You good?” He kept his voice clear and slow, not quite understanding what was happening himself. All he knew was that something was weird with her. He heaved a sigh when she didn't answer, and pulled her down the hall into a bedroom. Ellie registered it as his bedroom.

He sort of pushed her onto the bed and left her there. He lit a cigarette and rummaged around his room, gathering things. He dropped those things into Ellie’s lap and sat down next to her, offering her the cigarette. She took it with shaky fingers and used the drag to try and regulate her breathing a little.

“Are you having a stroke or something?” he asked, and the stupid question helped a little. She shook her head. “Okay, well you’re being weird and it’s freaking me out. You need to calm down,” he said. She took another drag off the cigarette and shoved it back toward him.

“I’m tired,” she said, which didn’t make sense, but it was speech, and speaking was progress.

“You’re tired? Okay, we’ll figure that out in a minute. Get some dry clothes on first,” he said, still using a slow, clear voice. She made a face and hesitated. Progress. Billy rolled his eyes and let himself fall backward onto the bed. He made a show of putting his hands over his eyes.

“Alright, Princess, change your clothes. No peeking, I swear,” he said. She made quick work of it, changing into the well worn t-shirt and the pair of boxer shorts he had given her, kicking her wet clothes off into a corner. She folded her arms across her chest, and Billy peeked out from between his fingers when he heard her stop shuffling about. He propped himself up onto his elbows.

“You look good in my clothes,” he said, slapping that stupid devilish smirk onto his face. Ellie rolled her eyes, finding herself more grounded with each passing moment.

“You’re gross,” she managed.

“There she is,” he said, still grinning. “You good?” Ellie shrugged, and looked at her feet.

“I’m good,” she said to her toes.

“You’re tired,” Billy recalled.

“It’s been a long day,” she sighed.

“You wanna go home, get some sleep?” he asked. Ellie was quiet for a moment, still staring at her toes. She chewed her bottom lip.

“I, uh... I kind of can’t right now?” she offered, still adamantly refusing to look at Billy. She should have had a ready excuse, but her brain was too fried to come up with anything believable.

“Okay,” he said after a moment of confused silence. She could tell he wanted to ask questions, but he refrained. He stood up. “You can sleep here. My dad and stepmom are out for a few days visiting somebody, you won’t get caught in the morning or anything,” he explained, grabbing her wet clothes off the floor. He left the room with the clothes, and returned a couple minutes later to find Ellie still standing in the middle of the room.

“You don’t need my permission to move, you know,” he said, amused. “You’re in my room, you think it’s weird, whatever. We’re past it. Get in bed and relax.”

So she got into his bed, and sat there awkwardly. And then he started to strip down to his undershirt and boxers. She must have made a face.

“I’m not sleeping on the couch, that thing is the worst. Scoot over,” he said, turning out the lamp and casting the room in darkness. Ellie could barely see, eyes slowly adjusting to the dim moonlight coming in through the window, but she could see Billy’s silhouette come closer as she moved toward the wall. He didn’t wait for her to get situated. Instead, he crawled into bed and just about manhandled her into position, pushing and pulling until she was on her side. He left space between them, what little the small bed could afford them, and she could feel the warmth radiating from his body. He chuckled to himself, and Ellie could feel the breath on the back of her neck.

“We’re sleeping together,” he just about whispered, and it was so boyish and stupid. She breathed an exasperated laugh and swung her arm back to smack his leg. He laughed some more. “Go to sleep, Ellie,” he said.

Morning came, and Ellie woke up essentially smushed into the wall. She couldn’t move her head to see, but figured Billy was sprawled out over the bed, an arm and a leg swung over her body, lying half on top of her. She groaned as she moved, neck stiff from the position she was in, and tried pushing Billy. He didn’t stir at first.

“Billy,” she said, giving another shove, and she heard a long, heavy intake of breath as he finally started moving. His movements were sluggish, clearly still mostly asleep. “Billy, move,” she called again. He grumbled something into the pillow and pulled himself onto his side, his arm slipping off her shoulder and moving around her waist. He heaved another great sigh and squeezed, pulling her into him and away from the wall.

“Better,” he muttered. He probably meant it as a question, but it came out garbled and sleepy, and Ellie really didn’t have the energy to fight him. So she laid there and accepted her fate, just existing in the calm quiet of the morning. She drifted in and out of light sleep waiting for Billy to wake up.

He did, after another hour or so, with a groan. He used Ellie’s hip to push himself up into a sitting position. Ellie sat up as well and was almost amused at the expression on his face. He looked royally pissed about being awake. He sat there for a moment, appearing offended by the mere existence of mornings, before scrubbing a hand over his face and fixing his tired eyes on her.

“You hungry?” he asked, voice grumpy and sleep rough. She was. He stood up, joints popping as he went, and pulled on the jeans he had been wearing the night before, not bothering to fasten them. He went into a drawer and grabbed another pair, tossing them at Ellie. They smacked her in the face and she mumbled a curse at him but stood up and pulled them on. They were loose, but they got the job done.

Ellie offered to start some coffee as Billy rummaged around in the kitchen cabinets for pans and utensils. He made bacon and eggs, and Ellie helped where she could, and soon enough, he was splitting everything onto three plates.

“Max! Food!” he shouted without warning, startling Ellie. A moment later, she heard a door open down the hall, and an irritated looking red headed girl slunk into the kitchen. The girl paused when she caught sight of Ellie, and gave her a weird look.

“Hi?” the girl said.

“Hi,” Ellie greeted, trying to ignore the look. She knew what the girl was probably thinking, she’d probably heard enough in days passed.

“Ellie, this Maxine,” Billy said, setting the plates down at the table.

“Sister?” Ellie guessed, looking between them.

“_Step_ sister,” Billy corrected. “Max, Ellie. Girl from school. Now get that look off your face and eat your food,” he said as the three sat down. Ellie gave Billy a harsh look, but he didn’t catch it.

Billy went to use the bathroom after they had all eaten, and Ellie cleared the plates from the table. Max went to the fridge to get some orange juice.

“He’s a dick, isn’t he,” Ellie said, shooting a sly look at Max as she started washing dishes. Max gave her a baffled look, clearly surprised by the words.

“Yeah,” she said slowly. “Sorry, are you his girlfriend or something?”

Ellie snorted. “No. Most of the time I hate him.”

Max just gave her an even more bewildered look. “Okay. I’m confused,” she said. Ellie shrugged.

“So am I.”

“He’s not like that all the time,” Max said after a moment. “We... talked. He’s still a dick, but he’s better than he was. Most of the time.”

Billy came back shortly after, and started drying the dishes as Ellie washed them. “You seeing your loser friends today, or not?” Billy asked while Max was still in the room. He agreed to take her to the arcade later to meet her friends, and that was that. Max went back to her room, leaving the older kids alone.

“You in any hurry to get home today?” Billy asked, expression carefully neutral.

“Not really. I’m free until this evening at least,” she said. He nodded in acknowledgment.

“I’ve got your clothes in the dryer. Won’t have to wear mine when we head out. Feel free to use the shower or whatever you need to do until then,” Billy said.

-

They dropped Max off at the arcade in the early afternoon, and passed some time at a grocery store so Billy could pick up some things for the house. During the little shopping trip, Billy watched Ellie as inconspicuously as he could as she wandered down the aisles, inspecting items for boredom's sake.

She was weird. He knew it the day they had met. When, instead of giving him the moony eyes and coy smiles that most of the other girls seemed to give him, she had looked _offended_. That had intrigued him, and all he could think in that moment was _I want more._

And he didn’t know why. They were complete strangers. Until then, she was just another fixture in the shithole town he ended up in. Maybe it was because she was pretty. Curly brown hair, green eyes. Freckles on her nose. He liked pretty things. He wanted pretty things. Never had a problem bagging pretty things, because he was a pretty thing himself and he knew it.

The dirtbag in him definitely wanted her. He wouldn’t mind sleeping with that. So of course he threw in the dirty comments, because he was an asshole and just had to. But she would glare and call him gross, and that, for _some fucking reason_, was satisfying enough. She didn’t just throw herself at him like so many of the other girls did. She was annoyed by him. He ignored the weird feeling it put in his belly.

And normal girls didn’t typically get into weird drunken fights with some guy she barely knew, giving her another point in favor of the weird factor. She was meek, yes. Guarded and shy. But she had a fire to her and Billy wanted to know her, and he didn’t know why he even gave two shits in the first place. It was frustrating to no end.

Billy continued watching her from his periphery as he drove. She tapped her fingers on her legs to the music in the car on the way home, and looked a little lost in her thoughts. She chewed her lip, and was quiet like she so often was, but he had a fleeting thought that her head was anything but. They had sandwiches for lunch and made idle small talk, and then Billy put on some music and Ellie used his school books to study for a while for some test coming up. So of course, Billy was fucking bored.

Ellie was curled up into the corner of the couch, brows furrowed as she concentrated on studying. She was small, and had a habit of trying to make herself even smaller, and Billy wanted to know how such a meek little girl could be so angry when she wanted to be. But that was a problem for another day.

His main concern at that moment was that he was bored, and continued to be bored while she studied and chewed on her lip, and he was antsy, and he wanted to move. Another girl would let him distract her with sex. Sex was fun, and not boring, and involved plenty of moving. But Ellie wouldn’t go for it, especially sitting on the couch looking so damn serious.

He slipped out of the room quietly, and Ellie was too distracted to notice, which was fine. He returned shortly with a cassette tape, and stopped the music he had been playing.

“You should take a break,” he said as he fiddled with the tapes.

“I have to study,” she replied absently. He put the new tape in, adjusting it where he wanted it.

“You’ve been studying too long. Take a break,” he prodded. Ellie didn’t get the chance to argue against him, he cranked up the volume on the player and the introductory notes of Come On Eileen filled the air. He turned around to see Ellie scowling at him, so he smiled and sauntered up to her and flipped the book closed. She opened her mouth to say something, but he slapped the book out of her lap and grabbed her hands, easily yanking her off the couch, and she yelped instead. He laughed and started moving with the music, using her hands to get her into the rhythm.

She gave in surprisingly easily, and that made Billy feel some kind of way. It was all the better when she loosened up and danced, with a smile and a giggle. Dancing was good. Dancing was fun, and it got him close to her, and that would have to be good enough. He snapped her body close to his when the song slowed, hands holding firm on her waist and swaying her fluidly. Her hands naturally fell onto his shoulders and she was still smiling and yeah, it was _definitely_ good enough. And he kept her close, even as the song reached it’s peak, twisting her around and moving her as he pleased, and kept her flush against him as the song faded out.

She was still smiling as they slowed to a stop, but there was something else swimming around in her face as well. Curiosity, uncertainty, confusion. Her face gave away more information than she probably ever wanted it to, and Billy liked that. Her smile faltered a little, and she looked ready to say something, but hesitated. She cleared her throat and shook it off, whatever it was.

“You can quiz me if you’re looking for something to do,” she said softly. “I would like to get some studying done before we go back to school.” She was blushing and trying to ignore it, so Billy let her slip away from him to sit back down.

“Nerd,” he said, falling beside her and grabbing the book. She rolled her eyes and grinned.

“Jerk.”


	3. Common Ground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I don't know how I feel about this chapter either, it's a lot lackluster. I hope to make things a little more exciting once I get past Christmas stuff, I know not much has happened so far, but we'll get there! Slow and steady my dudes. Lemme know what you think, I appreciate opinions, suggestions, anything. Thanks for reading!

It had threatened rain all day. Ellie didn’t mind it, cold and rainy was debatably her favorite weather. There was something relaxing about it. And soon enough, that rain would turn into snow and that was almost better. It was a Friday, and her dad had a date. Date’s typically meant he would be out all night. That in itself had taken some of the edge off her day. She was content.

She wasted some time napping on the couch, tired after the long week at school, and didn’t wake up until the sun had already set. She made herself a snack and sat on top of the counter, listening to the sound of rain pounding down on the house.

She was startled by a series of hard knocks on the front door, almost dropping her snack in her surprise. She slipped off the counter and rushed over to the door, pulling it open to reveal Billy waiting outside. He was all wet from the rain, and probably freezing, but he smiled that stupid smile he so often wore, drawing attention to his busted lip.

“Hey there, Ellie Bean,” he purred.

“Hi,” she said, brows furrowing. Ellie Bean was new.

“You gonna let me in, or are you happy to stare?” he said, tilting his head.

“Oh. Yeah, come in,” she said, stepping aside. He slipped through the doorway and started wandering, movements lazy and fluid. She went to the bathroom as he took himself on a tour of the small house, and came back with a towel. He was in the front room, dripping all over the carpet, looking at a book shelf with a few dusty pictures on it.

“Is it just you and your dad here?” he asked as she approached.

“Yeah. Give me your jacket,” she said, not really wanting to talk about it. She was more curious about why Billy was bleeding and in her house.

“Damn, buy me a drink first,” he drawled, but slipped the soaked leather jacket off his frame and handed it over anyway, taking the towel in return. She rolled her eyes and went to hang it on the coat rack by the door.

“Your lip won’t stop bleeding if you don’t stop saying stupid things,” she said as she walked back into the room.

“You wanna lick it off?” he asked. She gave him a flat look. He winked.

“You wanna be serious?” Ellie countered. “You’re in my living room and your mouth is bleeding, and I would like to know what’s going on,” she said. He rose a brow at her.

“That’s not how this works,” he said. “You should know, you made the rule. No questions. I didn’t take you for a hypocrite.” His stupid smile was gone, his easy posture was gone. He was on edge about something. But he was right. She didn’t get to ask questions.

“Okay,” she said. “Let me help with the bleeding, at least,” she said. He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Don’t give me that shit,” he said with a humorless huff of laughter. She made a face.

“What shit?” she asked. Billy’s tone of voice brought with it the unwelcome itch of anger, making Ellie’s skin crawl.

“I don’t need help, I’m not a pussy,” he snipped. “You can get that doe eyed worried look off your face, I’m fine.”

“Jesus, I was just offering,” she huffed. “Sorry for caring, I guess.” Ellie spun on her heel and went back to the bathroom. She ran a washcloth under warm water and dug around the cabinets for the antibiotic ointment, and she didn’t know why. It’s not like Billy deserved it if he was just going to be a dick. Maybe she was doing it just to spite him. He had followed her into the bathroom, looming in the doorway.

“What did I just say?” Billy said, voice a low rumble. She glanced at him.

“I get it, Billy, you’re a big tough man. You don’t need help. You’re on top of the god damn world, but you don’t know where I keep my things. I hope your ego isn’t too fragile to accept that,” she snapped, brushing her way past him. But he wrapped a hand around her upper arm and yanked her to a stop.

“You wanna watch your tone?” he growled, glaring down at her.

“Excuse me?” Ellie exclaimed, matching his glare, absolutely done with everything already. Again, something in her snapped. She wrenched her arm out of his grip and shoved him. “_You_ came to _me_. What for, did you lose whatever fight you got into? Get your ass beat and just _had_ to come over here to mess with me and feel like the big man? Fuck you-”

Her back met the wall with a loud thud, and she was pinned, Billy bracing her there with a hand fisted in her shirt, the other clutching her jaw, and her stomach dropped for a split second, all too familiar with the move. But this wasn’t her father. This was Billy, and she wasn’t afraid of him, so she jerked her head and bit down. Billy hissed and snatched his hand away, but all too quickly he was back on her.

He wrestled her to the ground, straddled her hips, and pinned her arms over her head. Ellie let out a bark of laughter. “Look at you,” she panted, already out of breath from struggling. “There is something so wrong with you.”

“Shut up,” Billy bit out, giving her a hard shake with the hand still fisted in her shirt. She fought as best as she could under the circumstances.

“No, you’re a crazy piece of shit,” she spat, grunting as she tried tugging her wrists free, to no avail. “This isn’t _normal_, asshole. There is something broken in you.”

He shook her again. “Oh and you’re so put together, yeah? Everything about you is so fucking normal, right Princess?” he said, voice low and rough. She shifted hard underneath him. “Halloween, Thanksgiving. Remember those? You’re a fucking freak, too, so you can get off your high horse, right now.” She laughed again.

“Yup, you got me Billy, I’m fucking crazy, but at least I’m not a power hungry bastard. You think this is scary for me? I promise you I go through worse on a regular basis.” She couldn’t stop it on the way out, but had a moment of clarity once it was said, and she froze. And Billy froze. She could just about see his thought process as they stared at each other in tense silence.

“What do you mean?” Billy finally asked. She wiggled uncomfortably beneath him.

“I mean I can handle your crazy bullshit,” she said. “Get off of me.”

“What do you mean, Ellie,” he pressed.

“It doesn’t matter. Please get off,” she said slowly. He finally released her wrists and slipped off of her, leaning against the wall and watching as she pulled herself up to lean against the opposite wall.

“Tell me,” he said. He looked tired all of a sudden. She scoffed.

“No. You tell me why you came here,” she said. He chuckled quietly and dropped his head back against the wall.

“We don’t communicate too well, do we,” he said to the ceiling.

“Not at all,” she said, grinning.

“We shouldn’t be friends,” he said. Ellie shrugged.

“Probably not.”

“But here we are.” They sat there for a minute, grinning like they had a secret. But his grin fell. “Who is it?” he asked, unwilling to let it go.

“What, you want to be the only one who gets to beat me up?” she asked, no real venom in the words. He gave her a flat look. “I think you’re smart enough to figure it out, Billy. Don’t make me say it.”

He was quiet for a long moment before sighing and scrubbing a hand over his face. “Looks like we’ve got something in common, then,” he finally said. And holy shit, did that explain a lot.

They let it hang in the air for a bit, and then Ellie moved. She pulled herself up to her knees and grabbed the washcloth and the ointment off of the counter. The washcloth was cold at that point but it didn’t matter. She shuffled back over to Billy and watched his face carefully as she moved closer. He made no move to get away from her. She used his knees to prop herself up as she ran the cloth over his lip gingerly, wiping away the blood that had crusted over. Then she dabbed some ointment on the cut, and sat back.

“You wanna stay over? My dad won’t be back until tomorrow,” she offered. Billy nodded. They left the bathroom after that, and shared a cigarette on the small front porch, shivering in the cold and letting the sound of the rain wash away any remaining tension between them. They were both mentally exhausted at that point, and more than happy to get into bed when all was said and done.

Ellie woke up the next morning to the sound of the front door. She cursed and lurched into action, throwing Billy’s limbs off of her. That woke him up suddenly enough, but her hand was smacked over his mouth before he could say anything.

“You have to hide,” she whispered frantically. When he didn’t move for a moment, she started pushing him toward the edge of the bed. “God dammit, Billy, get under the bed,” she snipped as she pushed.

“Okay, Jesus,” he huffed in a whisper, batting at her hands as he slipped off the bed. It was clumsy and sluggish, but he made it just in time. Ellie’s dad opened her bedroom door just a moment later, and Ellie made a show of rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she sat in her bed.

“It’s late. Don’t forget about your chores today,” the man said by way of greeting.

“Yes sir,” Ellie replied, and he shut the door, satisfied.

-

Billy had to sneak out of the bedroom window after he was allowed out from under the bed. “Hey,” he called out as Ellie went to shut the window. She leaned through the opening at his call, looking at him quizzically. There was a whole pile of word vomit he wanted to expel. He had a lot of feelings about everything that had happened the previous night, a lot of thoughts about Ellie and things in general, but all of his thoughts and feelings were jumbled and messy and he didn’t know how to handle it, just like any other god damn time he was overwhelmed. So he just looked at Ellie, with her sleep tousled hair and her freckles and her sweet face, and maybe accidentally stored that image away in his mind.

He reached up and pinched her chin, slapping a grin onto his face because that was all he had to hide behind. “Be good,” he said, dropping his hand. She was quiet for a moment, and he couldn’t read her expression for once.

“See you at school, Billy,” she said.

He didn’t look at his father when he walked through the front door, but he could feel that cold gaze on him as he made his way through the house and to his room. Ellie’s dad had said it was late, but it was barely even 8:30. Billy figured he could catch a couple more hours of sleep at least. He didn’t have shit to do that Saturday, and sleeping would keep him from thinking. So he kicked off his shoes and flopped onto his bed and shut his eyes.

Not five minutes went by before there was a knock on his door. He sighed into the pillow. He knew it wasn’t his dad, the sound was too light. And it wasn’t Susan, Susan would have waited for a response. The door opened before he could say anything, however, and he didn’t bother turning to see who it was.

“I’m sleeping,” he said, voice muffled by his pillow.

“I want pancakes,” Max’s voice sounded behind him.

“So make some,” he said.

“We don’t have the stuff for them,” she said, tone stubborn. He lifted his head to toss a scowl at her. She was looking at him, chin jutted out defiantly.

“Max-“

“I want to go get pancakes,” she interrupted, and then he knew that she was up to something. It was written all over her face and he was just too stupid to realize at first. His scowl didn’t falter, but he did get up.

“Fine, shitbird, we’ll go get pancakes,” he said, no small amount of irritation in his voice. Just because she had some sort of a plan, didn’t mean he had to be happy about it. He was tired, god dammit. “Go get dressed.”

Billy lit up a cigarette to go with his coffee after the pair had ordered their breakfast. They had both ordered blueberry pancakes. Max looked like she wanted to say something, but wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. Billy just continued to smoke and stare at his step sister as she thought.

“Where did you end up going last night?” Max finally asked. He tapped his cigarette into the ashtray in front of him.

“Out,” he said, not feeling the least bit like being helpful. She looked like she was on a mission. He didn’t like it. She rolled her eyes.

“Did you go to Ellie’s house?” she prodded. He tried to keep himself expressionless.

“I just went out, Max,” he said.

“I think you did go to Ellie’s,” she continued. He gave her a sharp look. She returned it. “Well, your car never left the driveway. And you’re too high and mighty to call someone to come get you. And Ellie lives down the street. So you went to her house. Am I wrong?” She looked at him expectantly.

“Why the hell do you even care?” he snapped. She grinned, smug as all hell, and Billy mentally kicked himself for deflecting. Max wasn’t an idiot.

“Are you gonna bring her over again?” she asked.

“I didn’t bring her over in the first place. She just showed up, looking like a kicked puppy or something,” he huffed.

“And she stayed over. You never let girls stay over,” Max added with a raised brow. She must have been feeling brave. There was a time when she wouldn’t be forcing him to hang out, or bothering him about some girl, but then she went and drugged him and almost nailed his balls to some wood flooring. In hindsight, she had always been brave.

“She was locked out of her house. What, was I just supposed to leave her outside?” he exclaimed. Their food came and they thanked the waitress with polite smiles, and ate in silence for a bit.

“So, do you like her?” Max asked as Billy shoveled a large forkful into his mouth.

“Why, you got a crush on her or something?” he teased through his food, pointing at her with his fork.

“No. I just want to know if you like her,” Max said. He took a moment to finish his bite of food, hoping it hid the fact that he wasn’t exactly prepared for the interrogation.

“She’s fine,” he finally answered with a shrug.

“Okay, but that doesn’t answer my question,” she said. Billy heaved a heavy sigh.

“I barely even know her. She’s just some girl, Max. You’re making this a bigger deal than it should be. I don’t get why you’re so interested in my business all of a sudden,” he said.

“She just seems cool, I guess,” Max said. Billy tried not to grin. Max liked Ellie. He didn’t know why he liked that little fact, but he shoved that feeling away. He wasn’t dealing with that if he could help it.

“So, is this all you dragged me out of bed for? To bug me about some weird chick I know?” Billy asked after a moment.

“I told you, I wanted pancakes,” Max reiterated. “But while we’re out, we could do some Christmas shopping if you wanted? Or something. Like if you needed to run any errands or whatever, we could do that, too,” she explained, and she had started speaking a little too quickly, and suddenly Billy fully understood her little master plan. He stopped hearing what she was saying, distracted by the mental alarm bells and flood of thoughts that hit him half a second after the realization.

She wanted to keep him out of the house, away from the residual tension of the previous night. She wanted to keep him away from his father. Max had been sent to her room the night before, but it wasn’t like the walls in the house were sound proof, and she also wasn’t stupid. She knew the things Neil Hargrove was capable of. She also knew the aftermath was never exactly pretty for one reason or another.

She wanted to protect Billy. At least where she could. She couldn’t exactly stand up to the man without it blowing up in everyone’s faces, especially without tranquilizers and murder bats laying around the house, which was something he made a note to ask about sometime because who the _fuck_ needs those things, what kind of freaks was she really hanging out with? But that wasn’t what mattered at the moment. She was trying to keep him out of a bad environment, and he didn’t fucking deserve it, and he may have been starting to freak out a little.

And it was probably also to protect herself, if he was honest. Billy wasn’t exactly a nice guy, especially after an episode with his father, and he did have a tendency to take it out on her because he was complete shit. He must not have hid the look on his face very well.

“Billy?” she called when he didn’t respond. “You okay?” He cleared his throat and tried to shove his growing panic away.

“Yeah,” he said, and his voice sounded weird to his own ears, but he could ignore that. “Yeah, we can go Christmas shopping or whatever. Finish your food.”

And so, he took her Christmas shopping. It wasn’t anything extravagant, they weren’t made of money. They spent a lot of time in the comic book store, and Billy hung back while Max flitted around the building looking for things her little friends would like. And that kind of left him with nothing better to do than mess with stupid little action figures and try not to think so hard about god damn everything.

-

The first fall of snow came early Monday morning, covering Hawkins in a slushy, muddy mess of something that wasn’t really all that pretty. But the rest of the cold front was on its way, and Ellie looked forward to the soft blanket of white that would likely cover the town by the end of the day.

On her way out the door that morning, she realized that Billy’s leather jacket had been hanging on the coat rack all weekend, and by some miracle, her father never noticed. And if he did, he must have just thought it was hers or something, but she definitely wasn’t going to question it. She just grabbed it and held it tucked into her chest on the ride to school.

It didn’t take her long to spot Billy’s car in the parking lot, where Billy and his little minions, Tommy and Carol, were standing and smoking. Billy looked cold and pissed off about it, with pretty much just a denim jacket over a sweater to protect him from the cold he clearly wasn’t used to. Ellie really didn’t want to go over there and make her presence known to those douchebags, but Billy clearly needed his jacket. So she steeled herself and marched across the parking lot.

Billy caught her eye pretty quickly as she moved, which drew Tommy’s and Carol’s attentions, and Ellie suddenly felt really awkward as she made her way toward them. She felt like she was walking manually in an instant, but she put on a brave face of indifference and kept going. She could see Tommy saying something, and Carol smiled, and Billy just kept watching her, but he did plant that stupid grin on his face once Ellie got close enough.

“Good morning,” Billy drawled as she came to a stop.

“Good morning,” Ellie returned, trying to focus on only him, and not the snickers in the background. “You don’t even have a real winter coat, do you?” she accused, amused despite her discomfort.

“Never got around to it. Trust me, these assholes have said it all already,” Billy said, jerking his head toward the others.

“Well. This might help a little,” she said, pulling the leather jacket away from her chest and pressing it into his. “You left it at my house the other day,” she said. Tommy let out a drawn out hoot.

“Ellie McManus! Who would’ve thought you had it in you?” he laughed out.

“It’s not like that,” Ellie defended, not sounding quite as confident as she intended.

“Oh come on, don’t be little Miss Modest,” Carol chimed in, and Ellie found herself looking to Billy for help. He had slipped his coat on and visibly reveled for a short moment in the warmth Ellie had left in it, but stepped up closer to Tommy to smack him in the chest playfully.

“Think what you want, dude, it’s none of your business either way,” he said, and Ellie supposed that was good enough. But Tommy was as much dumbass as he was asshole, so of course he kept going.

“Come on man, you of all people don’t go to a girls house unless you’re porking,” he laughed, and he didn’t catch the subtle change in Billy’s demeanor, too busy chuckling with Carol. But Ellie saw his jaw clench just slightly, and his eyes got that glint to them, the kind they got when he was ready for a fight. But he kept a tight reign on it.

“Seriously, Tommy, fuck off. See if there isn’t a closet or some shit you two haven’t ruined yet, and mind your own business,” he said, and there was a bite to it behind the smile.

“Let’s go babe, we don’t wanna scare the poor deer girl away now,” Carol said, grabbing her shitty boyfriend and the two rushed off, still laughing. Billy watched them leave, muscle in his jaw moving the entire time, and Ellie watched him until he turned to face her.

“You could’ve picked better minions,” she said, tone flat. He huffed a breath of laughter and shrugged, the tension leaving his shoulders.

“Slim pickings. Thanks for keeping this warm for me,” he said.

“You’re going to need something warmer, even if it costs you the whole cool guy thing you’ve got going on,” she said, gesturing at him. He smirked, amused.

“Cool guy thing? Really?” Ellie grinned and rolled her eyes.

“Don't act like the cool guy thing isn't like, your whole aesthetic. I mean, leather is all good and great, but insulation is all the rage around here. Get with the program, Hargrove,” she teased.

“I’ll get around to it,” he said, slinging an arm over her shoulder and leading her toward the school doors. As they walked, she could almost feel him thinking, but she could wait him out. It didn’t take too long. He leaned against the locker beside hers as she opened it to get her stuff organized.

“So, Max has that Snowflake thing coming up,” he finally said. She glanced at him, and his expression was almost comical. He looked a little awkward, confused but determined. Almost like he was in pain? It was funny, but Ellie didn’t want to jeopardize the situation by laughing.

“I think you mean the Snow Ball,” she said, smiling softly. Billy rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, sure. Snow Ball. Whatever it is, she’s got that coming up. Her mom was probably gonna help her get ready for it, but I think she’d be better off with some more modern advice,” he explained. Ellie’s smile grew.

“Are you asking for my help?” she asked.

“I’m not asking you for anything,” he countered. “Max is the one who needs help, not me.”

“I don’t know, Billy. It sounds a lot like you’re asking for help.”

“Look, she just thinks you’re cool, okay? Just come over and help her get ready for the stupid dance,” he snipped, and Ellie was taken aback. She was surprised at the fact that Max seemed to like her after such a short conversation, but she figured she might as well just run with it.

“Okay, fine, I’ll help her get ready for the dance,” she said, rolling her eyes and shutting her locker. The warning bell rang overhead, and the pair parted ways, and Ellie spent most of her homeroom period thinking about where to get a good winter coat.


	4. Windows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writers block is the worst. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting for so long for what feels like such a short chapter, but I hope it's better than nothing for now. I promise I haven't abandoned the story!

“You don’t have to wear a dress to the dance. I didn’t when I went,” Ellie said, digging through Max’s closet.

“I still don’t think I have anything that’ll look right though,” Max said, sounding frustrated. “Like I don’t have cute clothes and stuff.”

“That’s okay, we’ll figure it out. I brought some of my own things if you want to dig through those and see if there’s anything you might like. We can make it fit if we need to,” Ellie said, gesturing to the bag full of clothes on the bed. She looked at Max, and the younger girl seemed a little uncertain. Ellie smiled and left the closet to dump her bag of clothes out.

“I won’t be offended if you don’t like any of it, you know. Come on, just try stuff on. It’ll be fun,” she reassured. They spent a fair amount of time playing with Ellie’s clothes, and it was fun. Max was funny, and unafraid to speak her mind. Ellie really liked her.

Max actually did find an outfit she liked in Ellie’s pile of clothes. Ellie pinned what she needed to and folded the outfit up, shoving the rest carelessly back into the bag.

“I’ll alter everything at home, and have it all ready by tomorrow,” she had said, and then there was a knock at the bedroom door. Max opened it, and Billy was on the other side.

“Sorry to crash the party,” he greeted. “It’s your lucky day, Ellie, you get to meet the parents,” he said, voice full of fake excitement. Ellie didn’t get to respond, the front door opened a moment after Billy finished speaking.

“Kids, we’re home,” a woman’s voice called out cheerfully, and Ellie watched Billy’s whole posture change in an instant. His back was straight, his jaw was set. He and Ellie held hard eye contact for a moment before he turned on his heel and led the girls out of the room. Both adults spotted Ellie immediately. The woman looked surprised, glanced at Billy very quickly, but smiled brightly. The man was less expressive, and Ellie couldn’t read anything on him. It was all a very quick exchange.

“Oh, hello,” the woman said, still smiling. “I didn’t know we’d be having company.” The man was looking at Billy at that point, but Ellie wasn’t going to jeopardize anything if she could help it and acted quickly. She smiled brightly and moved ahead of Max and Billy, extending a hand.

“Hi,” she said, shaking the woman’s hand first. “I’m sorry for the unexpected visit, I was helping Max find something to wear to the dance tomorrow.” Then the mans hand. “I’m Ellie McManus.” He gave her a grin and a curt nod.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ellie. My name is Neil, this is my wife, Susan. I’m assuming you and my son are friends from school?” he asked.

“Yes, sir,” Ellie said, all smiles and politeness. “I live right down the street from you, actually. Billy is kind enough to take me home from school sometimes when my dad is working late,” she said, tossing a happy glance at Billy.

“Well, that’s very nice of him. And it’s very nice of you for helping Maxine today,” Neil said. Ellie shrugged meekly with a sweet smile, because she could play pretend. She was really good at playing pretend.

“I’m happy to help,” she said. “Well, I’m sorry to keep you, I’ll get out of your hair and let you enjoy your evening.”

“You’re more than welcome to stay for dinner if you’d like,” Susan offered hopefully.

“Oh, thank you, but my dad is expecting me home soon anyway, and I’d hate for him to worry,” she said.

“Of course. And we don’t want that. It was nice to meet you, Ellie, and thank you again for helping Maxine,” Neil said with a polite grin, sounding perfectly normal and cheery. “Son, be a gentleman. Walk your friend home,” he added casually, turning his gaze to Billy.

“Yes, sir.”

Ellie took a moment to gather her things and say goodbye to everyone else, and then the two were outside, making their way slowly toward her house. Billy crossed his arms over his chest against the cold.

“So,” Ellie said, drawing the word out, not really knowing what she wanted to say.

“So, nothing,” Billy snapped.

“I, um... I’m sorry if-“

“Shut the fuck up,” he snapped harder, not looking at her. She could only watch him, and try to formulate something to say. Billy huffed, all sharp edges and tension. “You didn’t do anything. Don’t fucking apologize.”

“Okay,” Ellie said, quiet, looking away. There was a beat of silence and then Billy let out a humorless chuckle.

“You know what? I shouldn’t have told you anything, Ellie.” She didn’t bother looking back up at him, just kept her eyes down and let him get whatever electric, angry energy he had out of his system. “Because now you’re going to tip toe around like everything is made of god damn egg shells and you’re gonna keep saying sorry, and I don’t fucking need it, okay? I really don’t.”

“Okay,” she said again. If she said anything else, she would let her own temper get the better of her, and she really wasn’t in the mood for a fight. They made it to her doorstep in silence after that, where she finally looked back up at Billy. He was still seething with a sharp energy. “I’ll bring Max’s outfit back tomorrow,” she said shortly, opening the front door and shutting it without looking back. She heard the muffled thud of his boots down the steps of the small porch, and tried to make her way toward her room.

“Who is that? This isn’t the first time I’ve seen you with him,” she heard her father ask. She flinched in surprise and turned to see him looking out the window, watching Billy walk away.

“He’s just a friend from school. I was helping his sister with something, remember?” Ellie answered, immediately on edge.

“I’m not going through this again, Ellie. You won’t go whoring yourself around, do you understand me?” the man said, looming over her.

“I wasn’t, Dad. I swear,” she stuttered out, but it seemed his mind was made up, and Ellie needed a reminder. Ellie checked out of her head as the first hit landed.

She hurt too much to sleep that night, and spent the better part of the next morning in her room, listening to every little movement outside the door as she trimmed and sewed Max’s clothes. Her dad left at some point, and she figured that was as good a chance as any she had to go drop the clothes off at Billy’s house.

It wasn’t his fault, she had told herself with each step toward the little house up the street, every step up the porch. One more time as she knocked on the door. And again, when the door opened and Billy stood on the other side. She stood up straighter even though it hurt. Pretended she didn’t just get her ass beat because her dad believed what he wanted to believe, had a bad day and needed an excuse to take it out on her. Pretended she was just fine, like she wasn’t falling apart a little more every time she fucked up.

“Hey,” she greeted, and she meant to smile, she really did. But she remembered he was a dick, and she wanted to ignore it, wanted to listen to the part of her that knew why. But she was a little bit of a dick, too, when it came down to it. When she was afraid of the consequences, but she definitely wasn’t thinking about that. “Could you give these to Max for me?” And that was that. She didn’t stick around for much else.

They didn’t talk at school. If anything, they actively avoided each other. Of course, they didn’t really talk all that much at school anyway- different classes, different friends, different lives. But they really didn’t talk. Which was fine. Things were easier that way. Ellie didn’t get in trouble that way.

She was also really fucking irritated by the end of that week. Because- while they weren’t talking, while she wasn’t giving him small waves in passing, while he wasn’t pinching her chin, while they were living their own separate lives, while things were _safe_\- Billy still stood outside in the parking lot every morning with his stupid little minions, looking cold and pissed off about it.

So she stood outside the gym doors at the end of that Friday, an early release day to signify the beginning of Christmas break, and waited impatiently for Billy to strut his stupid self through the gym doors. He trickled through the doors as part of the loose herd, bullshitting with Tommy, and would have missed her if she hadn’t said anything.

“Billy,” she called out, causing a few heads to turn in her direction, but the boys lost interest quickly and continued minding their own business. She watched Billy exchange a few words with Tommy and then he made his way over to her. And she didn’t know what to say, any potential word or greeting getting caught in her throat. She didn’t look him in the eye, choosing to look at his earring instead. A moment passed in silence between them.

“You wanna make up your mind? Talk to me or don’t. It’s your call, Princess,” Billy said, and she could hear the sneer he was wearing.

“You’re a dick.” The words fell out of her before she could stop herself. A beat of silence.

“How many times are we going to do this, Ellie?” he exclaimed, and they were alone now, otherwise she knew he wouldn’t have said it like he did, like he wanted to lay down on the concrete and give up. She looked at him, then. There was a lot going on with his face, most of it looking like anger, but he also looked tired. Maybe even a little hurt if she looked hard enough.

“I get it, I’m a dick, I’m an asshole, I’m a fucking selfish piece of shit, but you know what? You are too. So make up your god damn mind,” he ground out. Ellie could only think that there were a lot of curse words flying out of his mouth.

She was still angry, and scared, and she didn’t know how to handle herself, or Billy, or anything, really. So she shoved the bag that had been in her locker for too many days into Billy’s chest.

“Merry Christmas, Billy,” she said flatly, because last time she said she was sorry it didn’t go so well. She turned on her heel and didn’t stick around to watch him root through the bag, didn’t really expect he even would.

She didn’t hear him jog to catch up with her, and was surprised when he was right there, not slowing down fast enough which was probably on purpose, throwing an arm over her shoulder too rough. She stumbled, but didn’t fall, and managed to keep pace with him even though he was walking too fast.

“What are you doing?” Ellie asked.

“Assuming you don’t have a ride home,” he said.

“Oh. Okay,” she said, because he was right, she didn’t.

Billy had to get Max before anything else, so Ellie had crawled into the back seat, and it was clear that Max could feel the weird, angry tension in the air as soon as she went to get into the car. She didn’t say anything the entire ride. When they piled out of the car after getting home, though, Max stood in front of them pointedly, looking like a frazzled, unhappy parent. Her jaw was set, hands on her hips, and she was so brave.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on, and that’s fine. Be as weird as you want to, I don’t care. But don’t make me sit through another car ride that awkward ever again, okay? Please figure it out,” she said, sounding as much like the frazzled parent she looked like. And then she whipped around, red hair flying out as she turned, and ran off toward the front door. Billy and Ellie stared after her.

“I got a coat for her, too. Make sure she gets it, please,” Ellie said, breaking the silence, taking a step back toward her house. Her dad was still at work, but that fear was still clawing at her insides, making her want to run. But Billy caught her wrist, and he still looked angry, still sharp around the edges, but his grip was gentle.

There was something on the tip of his tongue, Ellie could tell. She waited him out. “You’re being weird,” he settled on saying. And it sounded stressed, and wrong, like it wasn’t what he wanted to say. Which it probably, definitely wasn’t. Communication didn’t work for them. Ellie looked down, and Billy almost immediately tapped her chin to regain her eye contact, blue eyes boring into her, searching her face. She couldn’t handle it.

“I don’t know what to say to that,” she said, because nothing that came out of her mouth that day was anything close to intelligent, apparently.

“You can say we’ll figure it out, for starters,” he said.

“We’ll figure it out,” she parroted, because she was stupid. He almost grinned. Almost. But with as much as they couldn’t communicate, Billy really seemed to like getting answers, so apparently there would be no grinning.

“You’re being weird,” he said again, pointed. There was something else behind the words, behind the imploring look on his face. The thing he was actually saying. Ellie bit down too hard on her bottom lip.

“Everything’s fine,” she said after a moment. He rose a brow, expression screaming _bullshit_ and sighed. Ellie had to look away again when she realized she wasn’t going to get away with it, because they needed to figure it out, because Max said so. She couldn’t look at his face, so she turned her eyes to the hand he still had wrapped around her wrist.

“Well something must have crawled up your ass, with the way you’ve been acting all week,” he pressed.

“Yeah, right now it’s name is Billy,” she snipped. “You’re not exactly innocent here either.”

“Maybe because you’re doing exactly what I thought you would, walking on egg shells around me. Every time I’ve seen you at school this week, you look like a deer in headlights,” he said. She scoffed.

“You know I’ve got my own world of shit to deal with, right?” she said slowly, clearly, like she was talking to a confused child. “Maybe it’s not about you.”

“Then why can’t you even look me in the face?” he said, turning the same condescending tone on her. “Look me in the face and tell me this whole week hasn’t been like this because you’re pissed, or scared, or _whatever_ because of me.”

She obliged him with a glare. “I’m not scared of _you_, Jesus,” she exclaimed.

“Then what the fuck is going on with you, Ellie?” He dropped her wrist and threw his hands up, sounding again like he wanted to lay on the floor and give up. They needed to figure it out.

“You have to calm down before I say anything,” she said after a moments contemplation. Mostly she was just trying to stall, but him being calm was also a key factor in the coming conversation.

“You don’t make it very easy to be calm,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Well just try. I’m not going to say anything if you’re freaking out,” Ellie sighed. She gave him a few moments to gather his bearings, and if he wasn’t calm, he was faking it pretty well.

“It’s... sort of about you,” she started, trying and failing to pick her words carefully. “But not because of you directly?” Billy furrowed his brows, confused.

“What does that even mean?” he asked.

“My dad saw you outside last week, after walking me home. He, um... he didn’t like it,” she said, feeling small. Billy’s face went carefully blank. She remembered the day they met. When, late from her detention, she was getting out of some random boys car, how could her dad be sure it was actually detention that made her late, she was probably skirting responsibility for whoring around instead. Maybe Billy didn’t need to know about that time. One was enough.

“I’m not scared of _you_, Billy,” she reiterated. “But I am scared, and I haven’t handled it very well I guess.”

Billy was very quiet where he stood, looking off somewhere in space, his jaw visibly clenching. Then he lit a cigarette, moved closer to Ellie. They shared the cigarette in silence, ended up leaning against the Camaro. By the time the cigarette was finished, they had sagged against each other’s sides, sharing warmth against the cold and supporting each other’s weight.

“It’s bullshit,” Billy said, quiet, throwing the spent cigarette on the concrete. Ellie could only see the side of his face when she looked up at him, but she could still see the sadness he wore. She shrugged against his side.

“It’s life,” she said, matching his tone.

“Fuck that,” he said, without feeling. “Yeah, fuck that,” he repeated after a thoughtful moment, a sudden determination to his voice. “Your dad can go fuck himself, I’m not staying away from you.”

Ellie didn’t know what her face was doing when she found herself face to face with Billy. She felt a lot of things in that particular moment, couldn’t really pin point one feeling stronger than the other. So she remained quiet, watching Billy vibrate with some weird kind of fervor.

“I don’t like not talking. I don’t like whatever this past week has been, and I really, _really_ don’t like your father,” he exclaimed, then a breath of hesitation. “And you’re right, I’m a dick. I could have handled things better, too.”

“Don’t get me wrong, Billy, I’m all for being friends or whatever. But how is this supposed to work, exactly? I can take a hit, but-“

“Stop,” Billy interrupted. She gave him a quizzical look. “I’m no saint, but I will go over there and kick your dads teeth in if you keep making it so real.”

“It is real,” Ellie scoffed. “For both of us. It’s not exactly like we’re hiding it from each other anymore.” Billy sighed heavily and scrubbed a hand over his face.

“We’ll make it work,” he said after a moment, sounding determined. “We’ll be careful. Your dad isn’t going to find out.”

A grin was tugging at Ellie’s lips, and she couldn’t quite hide it. He sounded so determined, so confident, and it put a weird warmth in Ellie’s stomach. But under all that, she couldn’t help but wonder.

“Why do you care so much right now? You didn’t seem to before,” she asked, and she hated how bad it sounded coming out, but she had to ask. He shrugged and pondered his response.

“Because we fight,” he settled on saying. Ellie made a face, confused.

“Yes, we do,” she said slowly. “And what, you like that?”

“Weirdly enough, yeah,” Billy said, and it sounded a lot like he was only just realizing it in that moment. “You’re a pain in the ass, and a little crazy but that’s fine, you know? We can blow up on each other and still be okay. I know it’s not healthy, but... I don’t know. I like having someone to be crazy with,” he explained. And, strange as it was, that made sense to Ellie. She was quiet for a moment, and then let a small grin pull at her lips.

“I’ll see you later, Billy. You and Max better wear those coats,” she said. Before she could take a step away, Billy reached out and pinched her chin. His fingers were gentle and he held on for a moment, looking softer around the edges.

“Leave your window open,” he said, voice soft.

“Only if you do, too,” she said. They parted ways.

Sunday night came, and Ellie had been asleep for a while already. She was startled awake by her bed being jostled, and almost started freaking out, but she was shushed with a clumsy, blind hand trying to cover her mouth before she could make any noise.

“Just me, Ellie Bean,” Billy whispered over the sounds of him slipping his boots off. She scooted over to make room, wondering distantly how she didn’t hear the window open. Her thoughts were interrupted as cold fingers brushed her skin when Billy wriggled under the covers to join her.

“What time is it?” she questioned, voice groggy and sleep rough.

“It’s late. Don’t worry about it. Go to sleep,” he replied, shuffling onto his side. Ellie stuck a foot out and hissed at the ice cold feeling of his own.

“Jesus, Billy,” she huffed, and promptly glued herself to his back, wrapping her arms around him and tangling her legs with his. He was shivering. “Use the coat next time you’re doing whatever you do in the middle of the night.”

“Yes ma’am,” he said, and she could pretty much hear him rolling his eyes. “Think your dad is gonna check up on you in the morning again?” Ellie shrugged and fumbled for his cold fingers, trying to give him warmth anywhere she could.

“I’ll let you know if he does. Now sleep.”

They both ignored his bruised cheek when the rising sun brought it to light.


	5. Merry Christmas?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost gave up on this, but I guess I'm not done yet! Sorry for the long delay if any of you have stuck around. Hopefully I'll carry on writing. Let me know what you think, and thank you to anyone still reading! <3

Christmas. Ellie loved Christmas once, when she was little and things were good. She supposed she still did to some degree, when she saw signs of it everywhere else. Just not at home, where she had to fake it for family members she wasn’t even close to like every other fucking holiday. So her aunt and uncle and her nephew came over on Christmas Eve, and everything was fine and happy and full of laughter, the adults had their whiskey spiked egg nog, and Ellie watched the kid. Spoiled, happy little thing. She didn’t know what to do with him. The kid was very young. But being so young, at least it was easy to entertain him, so whatever. Play with the old cat toys. Where the hell did he even find them, anyway, the cat had died years ago.

They made camp in the living room overnight so they could play sitcom family all over again the next day, and Ellie cooked again, and her aunt helped her again, which was nice, and Ellie wasn’t crumbling as much as she was on Thanksgiving which was an added bonus. But she was still itching because it was all fake, at least on her end, and her fathers end. But she could be good.

And she was good. Everything was fine. The day passed, everyone left, and then it was just Ellie and her dad in a quiet house with some Christmas program on television filling the silence. Ellie spent some time cleaning up stray wrapping paper and getting the house back in order. She heard her dad shuffling around the kitchen, always subconsciously keeping tabs on where he was. She straightened up when she heard him come into the living room.

He stood there, two glasses full of spiked eggnog in hand and a carefully neutral expression on his face. Sometimes Ellie couldn’t predict the man, and it always made her nervous. So she watched him, and he just stood there and looked at her with some weird look in his eye. She didn’t move when he stepped closer to her, at a loss for what she was supposed to be doing. He held one of the glasses out to her, and she took it gingerly.

“Merry Christmas, Ellie,” he said, and he sounded sad, and Ellie was just fucking bewildered. He did that sometimes, sounded sad. It threw her for a loop every time, but she could only try to take those moments in stride, because she didn’t know what would happen otherwise. She didn’t know which part of him was worse to deal with in moments like that.

“Merry Christmas,” she replied, voice small, and they clinked their glasses together, and Ellie made a face as she took a sip. “Ugh, this is gross, whiskey or not,” she exclaimed, and her dad actually chuckled and she was so fucking confused.

“Yeah it is, kid,” he said, parking himself in his recliner. So Ellie sat down on the couch, and drank the eggnog, and they watched TV, and she was very much on edge. She sat there, back stiff and body tense, until the man went to bed. Then she deflated with a heavy sigh and sat there a little longer being confused.

She eventually did head to her room, ready to call it a night. She was just about to change into her pajamas, her sweater halfway over her head, when she heard her bedroom window slide open. Billy’s head appeared from behind the curtain just in time to catch her hastily smoothing her sweater back down. He broke out into a huge, purposeful grin, and Ellie knew she was blushing.

“Damn. I should have waited, like, two seconds longer,” Billy quipped. Ellie rolled her eyes and watched him climb through the window, making no effort to help pull him through.

“Seriously, you’re gross,” she huffed, but she was grinning, and she was immensely glad to see that he was actually wearing the coat she got him. “What can I do for you?” she asked, sitting down on her bed.

“Let’s go blow off a little steam,” he said, smiling deviously. She rose a suspicious brow at him. “Tommy has his uses. One of them being, he gets good weed.”

“I don’t want to hang out with Tommy,” Ellie said.

“We’re not hanging out with Tommy, we’re gonna go smoke his weed,” Billy said, taking a baggy out of his coat pocket and shaking it a little for emphasis. Ellie must have made a face. He rose his brows. “What, you’ve never smoked?”

“I did, once. Never made it a habit,” she answered on a shrug.

“Come on. If you hate it, we’ll never do it again,” he prodded. She furrowed her brow thoughtfully for a moment.

“Fine. Let me get my coat.”

—

They were at a park, sitting in the back seat of the Camaro, facing the woods. Billy had brought a blanket, because he was thoughtful like that, and it was draped over their legs as the pair pressed together to keep warm. Leaving the car running for the heat would just draw attention, after all. It had been a few minutes since either of them had spoken, content to just exist in a hazy bubble of peace for a while. Then Ellie perked up a little bit.

“Do the woods ever feel weird to you?” she asked, picking at a loose thread on her jeans under the blanket. Billy shifted to look at her, curious.

“No? What do you mean?” She wiggled to get a better look at him.

“It’s weird. Like, there have been a couple times where they’ve felt... alive? Or something?” She made a face at herself and huffed a laugh. “It sounds so stupid out loud, oh my god. I mean there was that time that the Byers kid went missing, the woods just felt... _wrong_. Then this girl, Barbara Holland, disappeared at the same time. I don’t think it was connected, but like, whatever, Will Byers came back. The woods felt weird, but then they didn’t. Then there was some time after Halloween. Nothing happened, right, but they just felt _weird_,” she explained, and Billy listened, amused. She was definitely high. He chuckled.

“You know what I think?” he drawled, hooking an arm over her shoulder and pulling her back into his side. She hummed. “I think you’re high as shit, and we’d know if there were monsters in the woods of this shithole,” he said. He briefly recalled images of murder bats and tranquilizers, and a house covered in creepy drawings, a room full of scared kids. But none of that mattered, he was also high as shit and his mind was just wandering.

“Yeah. Monsters aren’t real, anyway,” she shrugged, looking out into the woods, still clearly entertaining the idea.

“Oh no, they’re definitely real,” he said, jostling her. “They come in the form of shitty parents.” And because they were a couple of high, fucked up kids, they laughed. Once their giggle fit died down, things were quiet for a while. So Billy thought.

He thought about this warm girl tucked into his side, grinning a soft little grin like he never pushed her around, or pinned her to the floor, or yelled at her. He thought about how tough she was, how she could stand her ground against him when he was freaking out about his own bullshit and taking it out on the closest living thing to him, because being angry and fighting things was better than being afraid. Being angry was better than feeling like he couldn’t breathe, like his insides were imploding. Fighting was better than breaking down and crying like a pussy.

She was tough, putting up with him like she did. She was tough, putting up with _life_ like she did. There was still so much he didn’t know about her, about how unfair life had been to her. About how she could find the will to push through each day without the urge to fight God during the worst of it. Billy seemed to be about the only person she was willing to fight.

But as tough as she was, as angry as she was underneath it all, Billy would watch her and see how fragile she could be, would still see her flinch if someone moved too fast in the hallways at school. He watched her a lot, more than she probably realized, because her mannerisms said more than she ever consciously would.

On a bad day, once he knew there were things he needed to watch for, she wanted to make herself small and unassuming, with hunched shoulders and crossed arms. Quick, quiet steps. She looked at the world around her like she could hide behind her eyelashes if she tried hard enough. Other times, she just looked fucking sad, and no one noticed these things, and Billy wanted to punch everything that made her feel small and afraid.

And of course he had barged into her life like the natural disaster he was, making even more of a mess of her life with his own bullshit. But despite it all, she was there. She was there, warm and gentle, high as a kite and grinning, and Billy didn’t deserve it.

Billy started moving, shifting the blanket to turn his body as best he could in the back seat of the Camaro, twisting Ellie along with him. She looked confused, but didn’t ask questions. Just went with it, like she did with most things. Eventually, he had them both where he wanted them. Still close, because he wanted to be close to her, and he still didn’t fucking know _why_. He had his legs on either side of her, bracketing her hips in, and it probably looked weird, but he didn’t care. It was sort of comfortable. They sat there for a moment, just looking at each other, studying. Ellie tilted her head just a little.

“What are you doing?” she finally asked. He didn’t say anything, just reached for his ear, slipping the dangling earring out. She went a little stiff when he reached for her face, still confused, still studying. He didn’t move for a moment, just held her chin, willed her to relax with a look. She did, and he turned her head with ease, leaning in closer to get a better look in the dark. He released her chin to work one of her own earrings out, trying to be gentle.

They were so close, he could feel the soft air of her breathing ghost over his neck, and he shivered a little at the feeling. He could play it off as just being cold if he needed to. Because it was cold, and the position they were in really only kept his legs warm, but whatever. He slipped his own earring through the vacant hole in her earlobe, and that was that. He leaned back to give her some space, and slipped her stolen earring into his earlobe.

“What’s this for?” she asked, tugging at the newly placed earring. Billy shrugged.

“I didn’t get you a real gift. So, there it is,” he said. She huffed and rolled her eyes, amused.

“Does it even count as a gift if you stole my earring?” she smiled. He shrugged again, and let the corners of his lips pull up.

“Merry Christmas, Ellie Bean,” he said, voice soft, knocking his knee into her side. Her smile fell into a thoughtful expression, something guarded but still gentle, still warm. If Billy wasn’t so high, he would say something stupid to ruin it, because he couldn’t take it, people didn’t look at him like that. He wouldn’t have gotten a chance to say it regardless, because a bright light was suddenly shining into the car, right into Ellie’s eyes, and she squinted into it. Billy’s stomach dropped, and he whipped around just as someone started tapping on the window. He couldn’t see the person through the glare of the light, but he just knew it was a fucking cop, and all the calm surrounding them dropped.

“_Shit_,” he muttered, quickly shuffling off of Ellie. “Fucking perfect.” The door of the car opened, and the cop leaned in to peer into the back seat, and Billy really wanted to slap the flashlight out of his hands.

“You kids having a good night?” the cop asked, sounding almost amused, and Billy was pissed. He tossed the man a sharp smile.

“How can I help you, officer?” he asked, voice as sharp as his smile.

“It’s past operating hours for the park, you know that?” the cop drawled.

“Look, we’re just minding our own business, okay? We’ll go. Must have lost track of time,” Billy tried.

“I wish it were that easy, kid,” the cop said. “It’s Christmas, we’ve all got places we’d rather be, but some paranoid old lady called about your car, and it smells pretty funny in here. Can’t have you driving under the influence. I’m gonna take you and your girlfriend down to the station, we’ll have to have your parents come pick you up-“ and that was when Billy stopped hearing anything the cop was saying.

And that’s how he ended up cuffed, hunched over in a chair in the police station, bouncing a restless leg and glaring at the cop across the desk. Ellie- after crawling out of the car to try and block Billy, to keep him from hitting the cop or doing something equally stupid- had shut down pretty quickly. She just sort of sat there with a far away look on her face, waiting for whatever was to come. She was going to get hurt and it was his fault and he didn’t know what to do with that.

The cop was sort of turned away from them, muttering into the phone, so Billy glared and listened. “I don’t know what to do here, chief. It’s that Hargrove kid, he started freaking out about calling their parents. He’s got Ellie McManus with him, so I think it might be more up your alley, considering your history with her,” the man explained. He was quiet as the person on the other end spoke. “Yeah, you got it chief.” He hung up the phone and looked at the kids.

“Chief Hopper’s gonna come in and figure out what to do with you two. Sit tight,” he said. After that it was just a waiting game. Ellie still sat there doing a whole lot of nothing, and Billy idly wondered what Ellie could have done to get involved with the police chief before.

The man walked into the station a little while later, looking grumpy and tired, and only half dressed in uniform. He gruffly ordered the officer to uncuff Billy on his way through the room, and stopped before the pair. He looked between them for a moment before sighing and scrubbing a hand over his face, settling his gaze on Billy.

“Alright, kid, come with me for a minute,” he said. Billy stood up reluctantly, keeping his face carefully neutral because he didn’t want to fuck up more than he already had if he could help it. Hopper turned around and started walking down the hall, and Billy followed, turning to look at Ellie who still wasn’t fucking doing anything.

Hopper shut the door to his office behind them and lumbered over to his desk to sit down, gesturing to the empty seat. Billy sat. They watched each other for a moment. Billy realized Hopper was waiting on him.

“It was my idea if that’s what you’re waiting for,” he said, slouching into the seat to get more comfortable.

“No one is under fire here. I’m not arresting either of you,” the chief said, pulling a pack of cigarettes out. He offered one to Billy. He sat up to take one, regarding Hopper with a probably confused expression. Hopper lit both cigarettes, and took a deep drag.

“Okay,” Billy said, drawing the word out, suspicious and confused, and trying not to freak out some more. “Wanna fill me in on what all this is then?” he asked, waving a hand between himself and the chief.

“I just want to talk for a minute,” Hopper said. “So you’re the California hot head, huh? Surprised we haven’t had a run in with you ‘til now.” Billy smirked, sharp, but said nothing as he leaned over to tap his cigarette over the ashtray. Hopper pointed a finger in the general direction of Ellie. “Is she your girlfriend or something?”

Billy was taken aback momentarily, but recovered the smirk as best he could, leaning back in his seat, acting more relaxed than he felt, and of course he had to open his mouth, try and push the mans buttons. “Why, are you her dad or something?” he drawled, tilting his head to the side, challenging. The chief grinned, sharp, a variation of Billy’s own expression, clearly trying to hold his tongue.

“Ellie’s a good kid,” the man said.

“What, you think I’m trying to corrupt her sweet little mind?” Billy asked, bristling despite himself. Hopper heaved a sigh, and leaned back, and Billy was satisfied at getting a rise out of him.

“Cut the shit, Hargrove,” he said, stiff. “If you have _any_ respect at all, just shut your mouth and listen. Can you do that?” And Billy knew enough about _respect_ and _responsibility_ to drop the smirk and listen.

“Yes, sir,” Billy bit out. Hopper watched him for a tense moment, and Billy didn’t like it. He could see the gears turning in his head.

“You two close?” Hopper finally asked. Billy didn’t want to answer, didn’t like people knowing things that meant anything. But Hopper clearly wasn’t the type to just go with it. Billy shrugged.

“Yeah,” he said, shrugging. Hopper gave him a look. “Yes,” he corrected, but of course he was snotty about it.

“You know about her mom?” Billy frowned a little, shook his head. “Her mom is dead. Suicide, a few years ago. Things got rough after. Ellie was acting out, I had to get involved for a while, met her dad a few times,” Hopper explained, but it was clear he wasn’t done talking, so Billy chewed on his cheek and waited. “The guy lost his wife and I get that. That shit can change a person.” There was something in the tone of the cops voice, an unsaid _‘But...’_ in big, flashing lights, and Billy was pissed.

“You got something to tell me, man?” he ground out.

“Here’s what’s going to happen, kid,” Hopper started. “No one is calling anyone’s parents. You’re going to go home, I’m going to take Ellie home, and you’re going to be more fucking careful in the future. I don’t care what your situation is, if you’re dating, or fuck buddies, or just buddies, whatever. Just be careful. I know she’s tough, but she needs someone looking out for her. Personally, after everything I’ve heard about you, I don’t think you’re the guy for the job. But maybe you are, what do I know.” He stood up from his seat and made for the door, signaling the end of their conversation. Billy pulled himself up and turned to follow, stopping when Hopper didn’t open the door.

“You call me if you have to, okay?” he said, voice low, almost gentle. Billy didn’t answer, just gave a curt nod. Hopper opened the door and walked over to Ellie, muttering to her that it was time to go as Billy trailed out behind him. Billy’s car had been taken to the station by the one cops partner. It was there, parked a few spaces away from the chiefs. He chanced a glance over the roof before he got in, watching Ellie shuffle behind Hopper. She caught his gaze and gave a small wave before disappearing on the other side of the Blazer. He was so fucking tired.


End file.
